broken.

i leave for college in four days, and i don't have the money i need. i have tried to trust God but this is breaking me. living one day at a time has been the hardest thing. i cant see further than 1 minute from now. god wouldnt make me come home, would he? i do not want to resort to the person i was. i've changed for the better, and think covenant is partly the reason for that. i just wish i could understand, but i cant. i've run out of words, thoughts, and what more can anyone say? yes i need to trust him, yes he can provide...but will he? that is what frightens me the most. that god might say no.