convictions.

i have been feeling really convicted lately. as i have read through the book of john, words just keep jumping out at me. i feel as though God is speaking to my heart directly. its the weirdest feeling. i just thought i would share some of my thoughts with you.

- the first thing john does is to declare to the world that christ made everything. he sustains life. i often forget this, i think i can do it all on my own, but i cant. "without him was not even one thing made"
- we are his children.
-jesus cares for everyone. he loved those that were unlovable. he cared for those who were outcasts. how often do i stop to remember that those people i find weird or strange are made in god's image, and they too are his children? not often.
- we often tend to accuse and call out others about their sin. but how often do we stop and analyze our own? "let any one who is without sin, throw the first stone."
-jesus allows us to go through trials and temptations and pain in order for his glory to be manifest. i am slowly coming to grips with the fact that my physical pain is a tool in proclaiming the love of christ through me. it is a difficult thing to think about. it requires me to not be selfish and to think of others who are going through more pain than i am. i am not that bad off. i need to learn to "do everything without grumbling or complaining, so that i might become a child of god, blameless and true."
-i need to learn how to love. loving someone does not mean getting my own way, but putting their interests in front of my own. this is SO hard! we are selfish human beings, me especially. but loving, means being a servant and "washing their feet." it means loving others as Christ has loved me. by this may all men know i am HIS disciple.

well, thats a mouthful, but its what has been happening in my heart. none of this is easy, but each day brings new challenges and joys. its about dying to myself and allowing christ to perfect me.

so on this day of prayer, my hearts prayer is a familiar one:
"The Lord is my shepherd, i will not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures, he leads my beside cool waters, he restores my soul. he leads me in paths of righteousness for his namesake. even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i fear no evil. for you are with me. your rod and staff comfort me. you prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies, you anoint my head with oil, and my cup overflows. surely goodness and mercy will follow all the days of my life and i dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Amen.